Due to generations of pressure to “be a man” and “tough it out,” it’s understandable why some men might struggle to acknowledge their need for healing. Our society is built upon very ‘masculine’ or ‘yang’ energy – the force of action. Without the more ‘feminine’ or yin energy to balance it, we lose space for experimentation, failure, and impermanence on our healing journeys.
Both men and women have been boxed into certain roles for centuries, but men have been subconsciously taught to suppress the softer, more vulnerable aspects of their being. While it has become relatively mainstream for women to heal their generational trauma, not as many men are racing to heal from their pasts.
Father wounds end up passed through countless generations completely under the radar, becoming more deeply ingrained and more difficult to detect in one’s self. Whether you are a father or have a father, I invite you to reconnect with yourself by releasing your father wound this Father’s Day.
Signs You Have a Father Wound
As children, boys are told that “real men don’t cry” and other critiques that their own fathers likely heard and buried into their subconscious. As a result, many dads have struggled to be vulnerable or empathize with their children to grow a deeper bond.
This results in a cycle of fathers passing their baggage (or supposed lack of) to their sons and even daughters, for the circumstances to repeat themselves. Unless a boy has an unimaginably ideal childhood, he will likely face a deep psychological wound with the father or father figures.
Impacts of the father wound often express themselves through issues with power, success, intimacy, trust, and confidence. These behaviors, tendencies, or expressions may appear as:
The inability or lack of desire to truly thrive
Chronic depression or stress
Chronic procrastination or laziness
Addiction issues
Self-isolation
Highly reactive to criticism
Issues with trusting men
Interestingly enough, over-masculinization can actually lead to weakness in the ‘masculine core.’ It’s almost like when you over-compensate with your muscles and it leads to weakness and pain. Although acknowledging a father wound may feel overwhelming, it’s the first step to healing.
Stopping the Cycle
The father wound grows any time a boy feels abandoned, betrayed, invalidated, rejected or neglected by a father-figure. Many men struggle to thrive throughout life because of a deep subconscious desire to have their pain and struggles be seen and understood by the father or to even ‘punish’ the father for their failures as a parent.
The key to healing a father wound and stopping this cycle is to first validate its existence. If you realize you are navigating a father wound, I can help you through the process. You don’t have to face this journey alone! Schedule your consultation today.
The key to stopping the cycle of father wounds is validating its existence.
Learn More About Healing Generational Trauma > The Mother Wound
Engage in Holistic Trauma Therapy
The only way out of the realization that you’re suffering from a father wound is through acknowledgment, so it helps to have a professional to help you navigate the experience. You must coax deeply buried pain, confusion, and anger to the surface in order to release these feelings.
Some depths simply can’t be reached without a bit of guidance. When you work with me, I will help you reach trauma harbored deep in the memory of your nervous system. You will have an amazing opportunity to reconnect with who you truly are at your core without the weight of the father wound.
Through EPT™ (Emotional Polarity Technique) forgiveness statements and energetic shifting, you will reach a place where you are no longer operating from behind emotional blockages that are holding you captive. In my office, whether virtual or in-person, you will have a safe space to let go of rationality and express all of the compounded anger, frustration, grief, and disappointment
Ready to begin the healing process? I’ll walk with you through this journey! Schedule your Introductory EPT™ session today.
If you would prefer to work with a man, I can recommend several esteemed male practitioners in the world of Emotional Polarity Technique™!
Empathize With Your Father
At the end of the day, we only have control over our own perspective of reality. By practicing forgiveness and empathizing with the father, we release ties to our pasts. We can look at people who have wronged us and all of their shortcomings, and acknowledge the circumstances.
Forgiveness releases us from the hold that past traumas can have on our psyche.
While this mindset doesn’t excuse inappropriate or abusive treatment or behavior, it releases us from the hold it has over us. You are not removing any responsibility for your father being in the wrong, but you are simply releasing the personal energetic charge it holds over you.
Re-Parent Yourself
If your father was lacking in his duties as a parent, you have the opportunity to become the parent that he could never be for yourself. There are several exercises that can help you practice “re-parenting.”
Plan a private evening for yourself where you can undergo some healing. Prepare your space so that it feels comforting and safe- perhaps play certain music, light candles, or complete some breathwork.
Then, spend a few minutes in meditation while visualizing your 5-year-old self. It may be helpful to pick a specific, vivid memory and to focus on as many details as you can remember. Imagine your child self running around, misbehaving, laughing, and throwing a tantrum. Think about what this younger you would need that he didn’t receive at the time.
Then, spend as long as you can writing a letter to your child self as if you were his or her parent. Tell him that you forgive him for subconsciously absorbing the trauma and pain within your father. Let him know that you will always be there for him and provide him with advice you know he is going to need.
If you start crying or feel a huge sense of release, you’re in the right place.
To learn more practices that you can implement to help yourself heal, schedule your appointment with me, Jolisa Clare, today!
Reconnect with Jolisa Clare
In whatever way you are struggling, know that you are never alone. It sounds cliché, but your emotions are completely valid. You have a right to your pain and suffering, but you also have a right to release it into the universe.
Healing happens in its own time, so remember to be gentle with yourself. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, find peace in the fact that breakdowns are often breakthroughs. If you have me guiding you through the process, you are a huge step closer to healing your father wound and reconnecting with yourself.
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